So I was cleaning out my attic last Tuesday, right? Stumbled upon this dusty old cardboard box labeled “HIGH SCHOOL CRAP” in my dad’s terrible handwriting. Nearly sneezed my lungs out when I opened it.
The Awkward Trip Down Memory Lane
Started pulling out neon scrunchies and those pogs I thought were cool. Then bam—my old Tiger Beat magazines practically attacked me. Cover boy was freaking Jonathan Taylor Thomas smirking with that floppy hair. Felt like 1995 punched me in the face.
Decided to flip through ’em while drinking terrible gas station coffee. Here’s how it went down:
- Saw Luke Perry’s greaser look from Beverly Hills 90210 ads and snorted
- Found my embarrassing handwritten “MRS. DEVON SAWYER” doodles everywhere
- Almost cried laughing at Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s Zack Morris haircut
The Weird Nostalgia Wave Hits
Suddenly remembered how I used to record episodes of Dawson’s Creek just to freeze-frame on Joshua Jackson’s scenes. Had stacks of VHS tapes labeled “PACEY TIME!!” Mom threw ’em out during college—still bitter.
Started texting childhood friend Sarah pics of Freddie Prinze Jr. She replied “STILL WOULD” immediately. Typical.
The Unexpected Homework
Got weirdly obsessed with seeing what these dudes looked like now. Grabbed my laptop—still warm from yesterday’s online shopping—and went down the rabbit hole:
Phase 1: Basic Google searches like “JTT 2023 beard?” Felt like a stalker.
Phase 2: Dug up old Dawson Creek DVDs to compare cheekbones. Lost remote for 20 minutes.
Phase 3: Found Leonardo DiCaprio’s current pics and muttered “Damn, we all got old.”
The Broken Dishwasher Revelation
Had to pause when my dishwasher started making death noises. Stared at Devon Sawa’s Instagram while waiting for the repair guy. Realized three things while ankle-deep in soapy water:
- 90s heartthrobs aged way better than my appliance
- I definitely still know all the lyrics to Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way”
- Nostalgia smells like wet feet and bubblegum body spray
The repair guy caught me singing to NSYNC posters. Didn’t even blink. Guess he’s seen worse.
The Wrap-Up That Went Nowhere
Finished my coffee sludge and realized I’d wasted four hours. Still got sentimental seeing Andrew Keegan’s charity work though. Ended up ordering Dawson’s Creek merch online while pretending I’m “preserving pop culture.” Whatever helps me sleep.
Final thought? Nostalgia’s messy like my attic—kinda embarrassing but you can’t stop digging. Now where’s my Discman…
