So this week I got totally obsessed with Thai food after binge-watching street vendor videos. Decided to make my own “fantasy menu” at home – spoiler: it was messy but awesome! Here’s how it went down blow-by-blow.
The Plan Attack
First I dug through my grandma’s old cookbooks and screen-shotted like 20 YouTube recipes. Made a giant messy list:
- Mango Sticky Rice (looked easy)
- Spicy Basil Chicken (Pad Krapow)
- Tom Yum Soup (shrimp version)
- Thai Iced Tea (gotta have drinks!)
Sprinted to the Asian market Saturday morning. Forgot half the stuff immediately. Stood there googling “kaffir lime leaves substitute” like an idiot.
Kitchen Disaster Zone
Round 1: Tom Yum Chaos
Boiled lemongrass and galangal first. Smelled like heaven! Got cocky and dumped ALL chili paste in. Big mistake. Coughed for five minutes straight. Added shrimp too early – ended up rubbery. Soup looked radioactive orange. Tasted it… damn salty. Dumped coconut milk to save it. Actually kinda worked!
Round 2: Basil Chicken Battle
Fried minced chicken like the video said. Forgot to chop Thai chilies small enough. Bit into a whole one. FIRE ALARM mouth situation. Chugged milk. Pureed chilies next batch. Better! Messed up the holy basil substitute though – used Italian basil. Tasted… weirdly Italian? Still ate it with fried egg.
Sweet Victory (& Failure)
The Iced Tea Win
Easy peasy! Steeped orangey tea bags. Poured condensed milk in. Added ice. Felt proud until I spilled sticky red syrup everywhere. Counter looked like crime scene.
Mango Rice Heartbreak
Cooked sticky rice in rice cooker. Perfect! Sliced mangoes… brown spots. Crap. Used canned mango. Sauce was coconut milk + sugar + salt. Mixed hot rice with sauce. Rice turned liquid mush. Ate it anyway. Sweet slop.
Final Menu Pics
Plated everything on my balcony. Soup dripping off table. Rice glooping sideways. But man… that Thai tea in sunlight? GORGEOUS. Fed leftovers to neighbor kid. His review: “Too spicy chicken.” Fair.
Learned three things:
- Always wear gloves with chilies
- Don’t trust canned mango
- Tom Yum can survive ANY mistake
Still not opening restaurant… but damn that fantasy menu slapped! What Thai dishes should I mess up next? Share your horror stories below!
