Obsessed with Sezane? Why the Tote is So Hard to Get

Alright, so, you’re tellin’ me you ain’t got your hands on one of them Sezane totes? Listen here, honey, let me tell you a thing or two. I ain’t no fancy city gal, but I know a good thing when I see it, or when I hear all the gals in town cluckin’ about it. Seems like everyone and their grandma’s got a Sezane tote but you.

First off, what in tarnation is a Sezane tote anyway? Well, from what I gather, it’s a bag, a big ol’ bag, the kind you can chuck all your stuff in. Groceries, shoes, whatever you got. They say it’s real popular, like everyone wants one. And they ain’t cheap neither, or so I’ve heard. Folks say they’re good quality, though. Not like that flimsy stuff you get at the dollar store that rips the second you put a can of beans in it.

Now, why ain’t you gettin’ one? That’s the million-dollar question, ain’t it? Let’s break it down, shall we? Maybe you ain’t lookin’ in the right places. Are you goin’ to them fancy stores, the ones with the snooty sales ladies? Maybe try lookin’ online. But be careful, there’s them resellers out there, snatchin’ ‘em up and then chargin’ folks an arm and a leg for ‘em. It’s highway robbery, I tell ya! Makes no sense to me. Someone gets something for free then tries to charge you an arm and a leg. Sounds like some folks have got more money than sense these days.

Reason Number One: You ain’t fast enough.

These bags, they go like hotcakes, I tell ya. One minute they’re there, the next they’re gone. You gotta be quicker than a squirrel grabbin’ a nut. You gotta be stalkin’ that website, waitin’ for them to drop. And you gotta have that credit card ready to go!

Reason Number Two: You ain’t spendin’ enough.

I hear some folks say Sezane sometimes throws in a free tote with your order. So maybe you ain’t buyin’ enough stuff from ‘em. Now I ain’t sayin’ you should go spendin’ all your hard-earned money just to get a free bag, but if you was plannin’ on buyin’ somethin’ from ‘em anyway, well, it might just be your lucky day. Maybe you need a new sweater or somethin’.

Reason Number Three: You ain’t lucky.

Let’s face it, sometimes it just comes down to plain ol’ luck. Some folks are just born lucky, I guess. They win the lottery, they find money on the street, and they get the Sezane tote without even tryin’. If you ain’t one of them lucky ones, well, you just gotta keep tryin’.

Now, I ain’t got no fancy solutions for ya. I ain’t no computer whiz or a fashion expert. But here’s what I’d do if I was you.

First, I’d go on that there internet and find out where they sell them Sezane bags. Make sure it’s a real store, not one of them scammy places. Then, I’d sign up for their email list, if they got one. That way, you’ll know when they’re gettin’ new stuff in. And then, I’d just keep checkin’ back, regular-like. And if you see one of them totes pop up, you gotta pounce on it like a cat on a mouse. Don’t hesitate now.

And another thing, don’t go gettin’ all discouraged if you don’t get one right away. These things take time. Just keep at it, and eventually, you’ll get your hands on one of them Sezane totes. And when you do, you can strut around town like a peacock, showin’ it off to all them other gals who ain’t got one.

But honestly, between you and me, I reckon it’s just a bag. A fancy one, sure, but still just a bag. You could probably find somethin’ just as good, or even better, for a whole lot less money. But if you got your heart set on a Sezane tote, well, go for it, honey. Just don’t go breakin’ the bank over it.

At the end of the day, it ain’t the bag that makes the woman, it’s the woman that makes the bag. You remember that. You could carry your belongings in a feed sack, and if you hold your head high, you’ll still look like a queen.