So the other day I saw this super fancy Van Cleef & Arpels jewelry box in someone’s car window downtown. Got me wondering – who actually owns this luxury stuff? Decided to figure it out myself. Here’s exactly what went down.
The Starting Point
First thing, I walked up to the shiny black SUV parked near the cafe. Peeked inside – yep, legit Van Cleef shopping bag right there on the passenger seat. Thought I’d just look at the registration sticker on the windshield. Big mistake.
- Grabbed my phone flashlight, leaned over the hood squinting at that tiny printed text. Could barely see the VIN number.
- Security guy came charging outta nowhere yelling “HEY!” Scrambled back like a scared cat.
- Lesson learned: Don’t look sus peering into strangers’ cars.
Plan B
Next morning I came back early with sunglasses and coffee. Parked my junker Honda across the street. Fake phone call disguise engaged. Saw the same SUV roll in around 9:15am.
Lady steps out – designer purse, huge sunglasses, fancy scarf. Watched her walk into that glass-walled Van Cleef boutique. No helpful face sticker saying “Jennifer Smith” though. Tried waiting for her to leave.
- Stood “window shopping” at the adjacent watch store for 40 minutes. Legs started hurting.
- She finally exits carrying blue shopping bag… heads straight into waiting Uber. Zero chance to chat.
Getting Sneaky
Third attempt I noticed details: SUV had “LITTLELEAGUEDAD” custom plate and soccer ball decal. Took photos discretely. Later checked all youth soccer league websites near that area.
Googled “van cleef boutique + regular customer reviews”. Scrolled pages of Yelp crap. Eventually found some old forum post complaining about “rich blonde in black Range Rover taking all SA’s attention monthly”. Closest thing to a clue.
- Tried reverse lookup on the plate later. Sketchy sites wanted $40. Hell no.
- Walked into boutique pretending interest in bracelets. Casually asked SA about “that elegant client whose Rover I saw yesterday”. Got stonewalled with “we value privacy” smile.
Reality Hits
After three days wasting time I realized: Unless they’re a celebrity or you work at DMV, finding owners is nearly impossible. Rich people stay anonymous real well.
Best I got? Blonde soccer mom likely lives in zip codes 90210 or 10021 based on commute patterns. Might be on HermesBirkinLovers forum. That’s it.
- Security cameras everywhere make stakeouts sketchy
- Staff trains to protect VIP identities like state secrets
- Privacy laws turn Google-Fu useless
Final verdict: Unless you’re prepared to stalk license plates across county lines or date a boutique employee… just enjoy the sparkly jewelry from afar. Not worth the hassle.
