Okay so I finally bought that Skims nipple bra everyone’s raving about. Honestly? Total impulse buy. Saw Kim K’s Insta post and thought, “Damn, that looks comfy.” But when it arrived, I just stared at it like… who is this magic nipple pad contraption ACTUALLY for? My Instagram feed showed skinny girls and curvy girls both wearing it, but zero details. So I decided to test it myself. Call it a public service.
My Brilliant Plan (& Friends I Roped In)
Grabbed four friends with totally different body types. Told ’em we’d have wine while they try on my fancy nipple bra. Worked like a charm. Here’s the crew:
- Jenna: Super petite, basically zero curves. Like a ruler with legs.
- Maya: Athletic build. Broad shoulders, smaller chest, defined waist.
- Priya: Hourglass queen. Big boobs, tiny waist, thicker thighs.
- Dani: Apple shape. Fuller bust and tummy, slimmer legs.
Testing Day Chaos
Made everyone strip down to basic underwear in my guest room. Passed around the Skims bra like it was a relay baton. Had ’em move – jump, twist, lean forward – while I took notes like a mad scientist.
Jenna (Petite): Slid it on in two seconds flat. Looked cute… until she jumped. That thing RODE UP. Like, halfway to her collarbone. She kept tugging it down all frustrated. Verdict? Nipples stayed hidden but the band? Total rebellion.
Maya (Athletic): Snapped right into place. Band actually gripped her ribs without squeezing. But her boobs? Flatter than expected. The padding kinda… pancaked. From the side? Looked like two sad tea bags. Not nipple-y, just deflated.
Priya (Hourglass): Oh man. Disaster. Spilled out the sides IMMEDIATELY. Quad-boob central. She bent over to pick up her wine glass? Boom – nipple flash. The adhesive barely clung to her skin. She glared at me like I’d betrayed her.
Dani (Apple): Winner winner chicken dinner! Band sat smooth under her bust without digging. Padding gave subtle shape without bulging. She did jumping jacks – zero slippage. Even the nipple coverage stayed PUT. She’s keeping the bra. Refused to give it back.
No-BS Takeaways
- Skinny frames: Size down unless you want a chest bandit.
- Muscle babes: Skip if you hate flattened boobs.
- Curvy goddesses: Just don’t. Your nipples will escape. Promise.
- Apple squad: Congrats, it’s your holy grail. Dani’s now texting me Skims discount codes.
So yeah. Spent $68 and lost a bra to Dani, but at least now I know. Kim K better start labeling these things by BODY TYPE, not just cup size.
