Alright so I finally got around to messing with those “must-try” 2016 trends everyone kept yelling about. Honestly? It was way messier than those shiny fashion blogs make it look. Let’s just dive into how this disaster unfolded.
The Tracksuit Quest
First stop – finding a decent tracksuit set like all the models wore. Yeah, no. Poked through three thrift stores downtown before giving up. Everything was either huge or had weird stains. Finally grabbed some gray stuff on sale downtown – but the zipper got stuck halfway up my chest at the coffee shop. Total winner.
Off-Shoulder Struggle Bus
Thought I’d look cute with the off-shoulder tops thing. Reality check: kept yanking that flimsy fabric back up every five minutes while grocery shopping. Bought two cheap ones online:
- One shrunk weirdly after wash
- The other felt like sandpaper
Ended up wearing my regular tank and just…pulling it down. Felt stupid.
The Choker Fiasco
Dug out some old velvet ribbons for that “choker revival” trend. Tied one too tight – looked like I escaped a bad costume drama. Loose one slipped sideways every time I turned my head. Neighbor straight up asked if I hurt my neck. Switched to a fake tattoo choker which peeled off by lunchtime.
Denim Repair Fail
Got hyped about patchwork jeans. Tried customizing my old pair with iron-on patches. Huge mistake:
- Patches fell off in the dryer
- Left weird sticky stains behind
- Burn mark from the iron? Yup.
Now they look like I wrestled a glue monster. Should’ve just bought pre-ruined ones.
Romper Regret
Saved the romper mess for last. Found one with “tropical vibes” – way too bright, but whatever. Needed a bathroom break after drinking coffee? Had to get completely naked in a public stall. Never doing that awkward dance again. Prices were crazy too – paid like 90 bucks to feel like a toddler wearing PJs.
Anyway that’s what really happens when regular people chase magazine trends. Wasted money, got weird looks, still ended up wearing my same old t-shirts most days. Maybe next season I’ll just steal my dad’s flannels and call it fashion. Done.
