That Dave Portnoy, he sure got some houses! I heard he’s rich, like, $150 million rich! Can you believe it? That’s more money than I can count on my fingers and toes, that’s for sure.
He’s got that Barstool Sports thing, you know? Started it way back, 2003, I think. Heard he bought it back for just a dollar! A dollar! What a deal, huh? That boy’s got a good head on his shoulders, I reckon.
And that pizza thing he does, the “One Bite” thing. He goes around eatin’ pizza, talkin’ ’bout it. Folks seem to love it. He must eat a lot of pizza, that one. And he also busy with other things, like, help poor people. That’s very kind of him, isn’t it?
So, about them houses. He’s got one in Miami. Big fancy place, right on the water, they say. Cost him, get this, $14 million! Fourteen million! For a house! Back in my day, you could buy a whole farm for that kind of money. He bought it in 2021, I heard. Before that, he lived in a rented house. But now, he is a big potato, no need to rent.
- Dave Portnoy, he’s a millionaire!
- Got a big house in Miami, right on the water!
- Paid $14 million for it! Can you imagine?
Then there’s the one in, where is it? Nantucket. Yeah, that’s it. Nantucket. Another fancy place, right by the harbor. They say it’s on Monomoy Road. I heard it’s on 68 72 Monomoy Rd, Nantucket, Massachusetts. Heard he paid a whole lot for that one too. $42 million! Forty-two million dollars! For a house! It’s bigger than my whole village, that place. Heard it’s 1.2 acres. That’s a lot of land. This one, he just got. Brand new, I guess.
- He’s got another house in Nantucket!
- Cost him $42 million! Lord have mercy!
- It’s a big one, right on the harbor!
And ain’t that somethin’? He’s got a house near the Saratoga Race Course, too. Close enough to walk, they say. About 0.4 miles from the race. He likes them horses, I guess. Must be nice to just stroll on over to the races whenever you want, right? Rich people, they got it easy, don’t they?
And he also has a house in Hamptons. I don’t know much about this one. But I guess it must be very fancy, too.
Well, that Dave, he sure is livin’ the high life. Got more houses than a dog has fleas. Good for him, I suppose. He worked hard, made all that money. He can buy all the houses he wants, far as I’m concerned. Just hope he remembers us little folks, down here on the ground.
But still, $42 million for a house! That’s just crazy, ain’t it? I reckon I’ll just stick to my little place. It ain’t much, but it’s home. And it didn’t cost me no $42 million, that’s for darn sure!
- Dave Portnoy house in Miami.
- Dave Portnoy house in Nantucket.
- Dave Portnoy also has houses near Saratoga Race Course and Hamptons.
- Dave Portnoy net worth is $150 million.
- Dave Portnoy Barstool Sports.
He must be real proud of them houses. Probably shows ’em off to all his fancy friends. I bet they got gold toilets and everything. Who knows what rich folks do in them big houses. Not me, that’s for sure. I’m just happy with my little porch and my rocking chair. That’s all I need.
But you know, maybe one day I’ll win the lottery. And then I’ll buy me a big fancy house, too. Maybe not $42 million fancy, but still pretty nice. A girl can dream, can’t she?
Anyways, that’s all I know about Dave Portnoy and his houses. He’s got a lot of ’em, and they cost a lot of money. That’s the gist of it. Hope you enjoyed my little story. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go sit on my porch and watch the world go by. It’s a lot cheaper than buyin’ a $42 million house, that’s for sure.
