Okay so last week I needed a 70s look fast for this disco theme party. Store-bought stuff always looks cheap or fits weird, right? Figured I could slap something together myself quicker and cheaper. Total gamble, but here’s how it went down, warts and all.
Step 1: Raiding the Closet (and Thrift Store Hell)
First thing? Dug deep into my closet. Found this hideous old button-down shirt – seriously, bright orange and brown floral print, kinda polyester feeling. Was my mom’s ages ago. Thought “perfect, it’s ugly enough to be 70s.” Score one. Needed bottoms though. Headed to the thrift shop downtown. Man, it was a jungle. Took forever shuffling through racks. Finally snagged a pair of pale blue, super wide-leg jeans. Like, massive flares. They were two sizes too big, but I didn’t care. Figured I could belt them. Also grabbed this thin, scratchy scarf with weird geometric shapes on it for like a buck. Felt like it belonged.
Step 2: Wrangling the Shirt
That mom-shirt was huge. Swam in it. Wanted that deep V-neck look. Grabbed my sharpest scissors. Got nervous, but just went for it. Chopped straight down the middle from the collar. Didn’t measure. Oops. Went a bit too deep, almost gave myself a belly button view! Used some fabric glue to fold the raw edges under a little, just slapped it on quick. Made giant, dramatic puffy sleeves my next goal. Pinched the fabric where the normal shoulder seam was and safety pinned it to the shoulder pad inside (yep, it had shoulder pads!). Instant puffs. Kinda wonky, but from a distance? Mission accomplished.
Step 3: Dealing with the Jeans
Okay, those flares were ridiculous. Tripped twice walking from the shop to the car. Love the look, but needed a better fit. Found a thick brown belt that matched the shirt’s brown. Cranked that belt super tight around my actual waist. The hips stayed baggy, which is the point. The flares were fine, just needed platform shoes. Didn’t have real platforms, so wore my tallest wedges. Problem solved. Well, walking problem mostly solved. Still clumsy.
Step 4: Fake Tan and Big Hair (Disaster!)
You gotta have the vibe, right? Fake tan seemed essential. Used a mousse kind I had laying around. Big mistake. Totally streaky on my legs. Looked like I’d wrestled a tiger. Tried buffing it, made it worse. Just said “screw it” and hoped dim lighting would save me. Hair was worse. Couldn’t get my blowout to have enough volume. Ended up just putting it in high, messy ponytails. Tied the scratchy scarf around one like a headband. Honestly? Looked messy, but worked with the vibe.
Step 5: The Finishing Touch – Sunglasses Hunt
Forgot about sunglasses! Needed those big, round bug-eye ones. Ran to the drugstore. They had these massive, bright orange plastic ones. Looked absolutely ridiculous. Perfect. Snatched them.
Final Verdict? Threw it all on – the chopped shirt, the giant belted jeans, wedges, streaky tan, messy scarf-headband ponytail, bright orange sunglasses. Looked in the mirror. Was it perfect? Hell no. The stitching on the shirt was fraying already, the belt was uncomfortable, and the tan was embarrassing. But you know what? It looked exactly like a cheap 70s outfit. Like something grabbed from a bin at Woolworths in 1975. People at the party got it immediately. “Love your costume!” all night. Took maybe 4 hours total and cost like $15 for the jeans and scarf. Sometimes fast and dirty totally works. Just don’t look too close at my DIY shirt surgery!
