So yesterday I thought why not try that mens grease outfit trend popping up everywhere? Grabbed my old leather jacket from the back of the closet, dusty as hell. First mistake: didn’t clean it properly. Just slapped some water on it like an idiot.
The Jeans Disaster
Tore my favorite black jeans trying to cut holes with kitchen scissors. Looked like a rat chewed through them. Went to the thrift store and found these stiff as cardboard Levi’s. Boiled them for an hour to soften – smelled like wet dog but worked.
Accessory Nightmare
- Boots: My construction boots had cement stains. Scraped off chunks with a butter knife
- Shirt: Wore dad’s white undershirt from 1992 – yellow armpits are NOT vintage
- Hair: Used half a can of dollar store hairspray. Flies got stuck in it
Put everything together and looked like a zombie mechanic. Girlfriend laughed so hard she choked on her coffee. Went outside and some kid yelled “mommy that man’s melting!”
What Actually Works
Ditched the nasty undershirt for a plain black tee. Soaked boots in motor oil overnight (do this OUTSIDE). Realized leather jackets need actual leather conditioner, not spit. Used comb stuck in gel instead of spraying cement on hair.
Final verdict? Grease look needs dirt but NOT actual dirt. Looks cool but my cat won’t come near the oil boots now.
