Alright guys, back at it with another hands-on experiment. This time I tackled that classic rockabilly look for men’s hair. Spoiler: my first try looked like a scared poodle, but I got there eventually. Here’s the whole mess step-by-step.

Getting Started (The Disaster Phase)
First, I grabbed my crap from the bathroom: some greasy product I bought online, a comb I found in a drawer, and a blow-dryer my wife uses for her bangs. Didn’t even check if my hair was clean – just dove in like an idiot.
Step 1: The Wet Hair Move
Drenched my hair under the tap like I was putting out a fire. Soaked it so bad water dripped down my neck. Realized I forgot a towel. Used my t-shirt instead. Big mistake – left lint everywhere.
The Actual Struggle
Step 2: Blow-Drying Chaos
Fired up the blow-dryer. Nearly deafened myself with the noise. Tried combing my hair forward while blasting hot air. Burned my ear twice. Hair stuck out sideways like cartoon electrocution. Gave up and dried it roughly like a caveman.

Step 3: Grease Attack
Scooped a fingerful of that waxy junk. Rubbed my palms together like I was starting a fire. Slapped it onto my hair. Instantly regretted it – smelled like a mechanic’s garage. My hair went from fluffy to wet cement in 3 seconds. Too much at the roots, none at the ends. Panicked.
Fixing My Mess
Step 4: Combing The Grease Monster
Grabbed the comb. Tried dragging it through the glued-down mess. Teeth got stuck halfway. Yanked hard – lost six hairs permanently. Figured out to comb from underneath the front chunk instead. Pulled it down over my forehead. Still looked like a sweaty villain.
Step 5: Making The Slick Back Thing

Fought with the sides. Pushed ’em flat against my skull with both palms. Grease transferred to my hands – touched the sink handle. Now the sink’s shiny too. Pulled the top back like a greased arrow. Had a dumb cowlick sticking straight up. Spit on my fingers and smashed it down. Classy.
The “Good Enough” Result
Stared in the mirror. Hair was halfway slick, halfway rebellious fluff. Still smelled like petroleum. But hey – from the front? Kinda looked like those old pictures. Took 37 minutes and three failed washes to get the grease out later. Worth it? Strangers didn’t point and laugh. I’ll call it a win.
Final Tips For Newbies Like Me:
- Buy actual pomade, not whatever sticky nightmare I used
- Use a damn towel before starting
- Comb slowly unless you enjoy hair-pulling contests
- Wear gloves unless you want shiny doorknobs