So yesterday I was scrolling through fashion stuff online when I spotted Miley Cyrus slaying at some awards show again. That glittery jumpsuit thing? Wow. Figured I’d try stealing her magic without spending a fortune. Grabbed my phone, scribbled down three rules everyone says she follows: show skin strategically, rock sparkle like it’s oxygen, and drape something weird over your shoulders. Time to raid my closet.
Rule 1: Cut-outs or GTFO
Dug out this old black bodysuit with side cutouts I bought for New Year’s Eve two years ago. Dust bunnies fell out. Ironed it like crazy while thinking “strategic skin exposure” – meaning don’t look like you escaped from a pirate movie. Paired it with high-waisted leather pants to cover half my stomach. Felt like a sausage casing but damn, that’s the point.
Rule 2: Blind People With Glitter
No way was I buying sequins. Remembered this cheap silver scarf from my mom’s drawer. Safety-pinned it diagonally across my chest like a Miss Universe sash. Had to re-pin four times ’cause one corner kept flopping into my armpit. Added dollar-store stick-on gems around my eyes. One fell into my coffee later. Worth it.
The “Fancy But Messy” Hair Trick:
- Teased crown hair until it looked electrocuted
- Snipped three inches off a fake hair extension
- Twisted it into a messy bun with strands escaping like I’d fought a tornado
Rule 3: Shoulder Drapes = Instant Drama
Miley always has random fabric hanging off her. Found a threadbare velvet curtain from my college dorm days. Cut off one corner with kitchen scissors – edges frayed instantly perfect. Draped it asymmetrically over my right shoulder. Every five minutes it slid down like a lazy snake. Ended up using a stapler to shorten one side. Classy? No. Effective? Hell yes.
Final look: Took photos in my driveway posing like my back hurt. Neighbor’s dog barked at the velvet drape. Filters made my stick-on gems look legit expensive. Honestly? Felt ridiculous and powerful at the same time. Miley’s rules work ’cause they’re gloriously extra. Next time I’m adding bedazzled cowboy boots.
