My messy company hunting adventure
So today I finally sat down to sort out this whole “dream job” thing. Grabbed my laptop, opened like twenty tabs – felt like a detective digging for clues. Started with scribbling what actually matters to me:
- Pay that doesn’t make me cry (bills gotta get paid, right?)
- Not working weekends forever (I like sunlight sometimes)
- Bosses who remember I’m human (shocking, I know)
Clicked on Adore Company’s careers page first. Looked shiny, lots of smiling people in photos. Glassdoor told a different story though – buncha rants about surprise weekend shifts and managers ghosting folks. Scrolled down… “Unlimited PTO!” screamed one post. Comments slapped me with reality: “Unlimited PTO means no PTO approved.” Oof. Closed that tab real quick.
Next up, NovaTech. Website screamed “FUTURE” with neon colors. Found their team page – all young faces. Glassdoor whispers: “Expect 60-hour weeks minimum.” Someone wrote “free snacks” like 15 times. Sounds like trap. Free chips ain’t paying my rent. Tab closed.
Then remembered Stalwart Industries. Grandpa’s company vibes – website looked straight from 2005. Dug into reviews… stable pay, actual 9-to-5 hints. But then this gem: “Promotions move slower than a sleepy turtle.” Almost snoozed reading it.
Got desperate. Messaged a buddy at Adore: “Hey man, how’s the vibe?” Took two days for him to reply “Chaos. Free coffee though.” Asked about raises: “🙃”. Emoji said everything.
Ended up making this dumb spreadsheet:
| Company | Pay Guess | Work-Life Chaos | Vibe Check |
|---|---|---|---|
| Adore | “Chaos” | ||
| NovaTech | Snack Trap | ||
| Stalwart | Sleepy Turtle |
Stared at it for an hour. Realized they’re all kinda bad? Feels like choosing between moldy sandwiches. Adore pays okay but sounds exhausting. NovaTech pays more but owns your soul. Stalwart seems calm but my wallet would sob.
Biggest lesson? Job hunting’s like bad blind dates. Glossy photos lie. You gotta dig into the ugly stuff – the whiny Glassdoor rants, the awkward salary talks. My butt stayed planted all Saturday researching this. And honestly? Might just stay put. These “options” feel like choosing which way to get punched.
