So the other day I saw some gossip online about JD Vance possibly getting botox, which got me curious. What does this stuff even cost, right? Especially for a senator level guy? I got to digging like I always do.
Started by grabbing my phone and just cold calling dermatologists and medspas near DC. Figured if he’s gonna get work done, it’s probably close to Capitol Hill. Some places were total rip-offs asking over $600 per area, while others sounded surprisingly affordable like $350 a pop. Here’s what hit my ears:
- American Laser Clinic in Arlington was pushing hard on units – “$16 per unit” this, “minimum 30 units” that. Did the math? Rackin’ up to $500 before tax. Felt like buying car parts.
- Capital Skin Solutions dude straight up said “We don’t do politicians” when I asked about JD Vance pricing. Paranoid much?
- Just called myself “a new patient wanting forehead and frown lines done” at each spot. Played it dumb and kept scribbling numbers on a notepad.
The big realization? Location screws the price. That shiny medspa a block from the Senate building? Added a $200 “prestige surcharge” like it was champagne instead of toxins. The farther I called outside DC proper, the cheaper it got. Sawtonsburg Med Spa quoted $350 flat rate if you paid upfront. Wild.
Took me two whole afternoons harassing receptionists and comparing notes. At least three places got suspicious when I pressed too hard about public figures. Guess they’re used to paranoid clients.
Final verdict? If Vance got his whole face done – forehead, eyes, maybe jaw – dude probably dropped anywhere from $900 to $3k depending on how bougie the place was or if they gave a political discount. Kinda makes you wonder how much other senators are spending on this stuff while voting on healthcare bills.
Anyway, that’s my deep dive. Not nearly as glamorous as you’d think.
