Alright, let me tell you about this whole “Colleen Lyons” chapter. It wasn’t a system or a piece of software, no. Colleen Lyons was a person, a new manager who swooped into our department a few years back.
First Impressions and the “New Way”
So, Colleen Lyons arrived, and right off the bat, there was a different vibe. She had all these ideas, fresh from some seminar, I guess. The first thing I tried to do was just understand her vision for our team. We had a series of meetings, long ones, filled with buzzwords I swear she made up on the spot. I remember spending a good afternoon just trying to decode what “synergistic ideation pathways” were supposed to mean for my daily coding tasks.
My usual routine got flipped upside down. Before Colleen, I’d come in, check my tasks, grab a coffee, and start working. Pretty straightforward. After her arrival, my mornings started with mandatory “alignment huddles.” Sounds quick, right? Nah, these things could drag on for an hour, sometimes more. We’d go around the room, and everyone had to share their “emotional energy level” and “blocker forecasts.” I just wanted to get to my work, you know?
Trying to Make it Work
I really did try to get on board. I thought, okay, maybe this is some new-age efficiency thing I just don’t get yet. So, I started meticulously filling out the new “Progress Visualisation Charts” she introduced. These were massive spreadsheets, colors everywhere, and you had to update them three times a day. My actual output kinda dipped because so much time was spent on reporting the output.
- I set reminders on my calendar to update the charts.
- I tried to use her preferred jargon in my updates, hoping it would make sense.
- I even attended an optional workshop she hosted on “Embracing Dynamic Change.”
But man, it was tough. I recall one project, a pretty simple website update. Before Colleen, it would’ve taken me maybe two days, tops. With all the new processes, the pre-planning forms, the mid-point review sessions, and the post-completion “reflection documents,” it stretched to nearly a week. My direct supervisor, a good guy named Dave, just sort of sighed a lot during that period. He tried to shield us, but Colleen’s directives came from higher up, or so we were told.
The Little Things That Added Up
It wasn’t just the big processes. It was the small stuff too. She insisted all email subject lines follow a super specific, very long format. If you missed one part, you’d get a polite but firm email back, asking you to resend it. It felt like we were spending more energy on the packaging than the actual gift, if you catch my drift.
I remember talking to a few colleagues in the break room. We’d whisper, of course. Everyone was feeling the pressure. One guy, Mark, who was a brilliant designer, told me he spent half his day just trying to navigate the new approval chains for even minor font changes. It was wild.
The Breaking Point and Moving On
For me, the real kicker was when my annual review came up. Colleen focused almost entirely on how well I’d adopted her methods, not so much on the actual quality or quantity of work I’d delivered over the year. My projects were successful, clients were happy, but my “Synergy Bloom Participation Metric” (another one of hers) was apparently just “satisfactory.” That was a tough pill to swallow.
That review got me thinking. I’d been with that company for a good while, and I genuinely liked the work and most of the people. But this new way of operating, this constant focus on processes that felt more like obstacles, it just wasn’t for me. I started looking around, casually at first. Then, an opportunity came up at a smaller place, a startup where they just wanted people to get stuff done. It felt like a breath of fresh air.
So, I put in my notice. Colleen was surprised, said she saw “so much potential for growth within her framework” for me. I just smiled and thanked her for the opportunity. Sometimes, you just know when a place isn’t the right fit anymore, no matter how much you try.
Looking Back
You know, it’s funny. I heard through the grapevine a few months after I left that most of Colleen Lyons’ “innovations” were quietly shelved. Things kinda went back to normal. I guess sometimes these grand plans just don’t stick. But the whole experience taught me a lot about what I value in a work environment. I learned that clear communication and trust in your team’s ability to do their job often beats a mountain of complicated processes. And yeah, that’s my Colleen Lyons story. Quite the ride!
