Alright, so the title today is “2018 outfits.” Now, if you’re thinking I’m gonna dive deep into fashion trends from back then, well, hold your horses. For me, 2018 and “outfits”… that’s a whole different story, a more personal one, you know? It was less about the clothes I was buying and more about the ‘me’ I was trying to wear, day in and day out.
What Kicked It All Off
See, 2018 was a bit of a rollercoaster for me. I’d just left a job that I’d been in for ages. It was one of those situations where you kind of define yourself by what you do, and suddenly, that was gone. Poof. So, my usual “work uniform,” the persona I put on every morning, it just didn’t fit anymore. Or maybe, I was just thrown out of it, feeling a bit naked, career-wise.
So, what’s a guy to do? I figured, okay, new chapter, new me. And that’s where the whole “outfits” thing really came into play. I thought if I could just find the right external ‘look,’ maybe the internal stuff would just click into place. Boy, was I off track with that one.
I started trying on different roles, different ‘styles’ of being. It was exhausting, I tell ya. My actual closet saw some new stuff, sure, but my mental closet was overflowing with these experimental identities. I was basically trying to ‘dress’ for a part I hadn’t even auditioned for yet, or didn’t even know I wanted.
The “Outfits” I Tried On
It was a real mixed bag, that period. I remember:
- The “Super Productive Freelancer” outfit: Woke up early, had a strict schedule, dressed like I was heading to a Silicon Valley startup even though I was just at my kitchen table. That lasted about two weeks. The pressure was immense.
- The “Zen Master of Calm” outfit: Lots of loose, comfy clothes. Tried meditation. Read all the books. I was trying to project this image of someone totally unfazed by unemployment. Inside, I was a mess, of course.
- The “Networking Pro” outfit: Sharper clothes, always ready with a business card I’d hastily printed. Went to every meetup, every coffee. Smiled ’til my face hurt. Most of those connections just fizzled out.
- The “Back to Basics Student” outfit: Thought about going back to school. Dusted off old textbooks. Even bought a new backpack. The thought of more exams nearly gave me hives.
Each “outfit” came with its own set of expectations I put on myself. And honestly, none of them felt right. It was like wearing clothes that were either too tight, too flashy, or just plain uncomfortable. I was spending so much energy trying to be these things, instead of just figuring out what I actually wanted or needed.
The Moment Things Shifted
There wasn’t one big “aha!” moment, not really. It was more like a slow burn. I got tired. Tired of pretending, tired of the effort of maintaining these “outfits” that weren’t me. I remember looking at my actual wardrobe one day, full of clothes for these different personas, and realizing I didn’t even like half of it. It was a reflection of how fragmented I felt.
I started small. I got rid of the clothes that felt like costumes. I started saying “no” to things that felt like I was just playing a part. It was tough, because there’s this pressure, right? To always look like you’ve got it figured out. But I just didn’t. And admitting that was the first real step.
What I actually started doing was focusing on small, real things. Reached out to old friends, not for networking, but just to connect. Picked up hobbies I genuinely enjoyed, not ones I thought would look good on a “personal brand.” Slowly, very slowly, I started to feel a bit more like myself, without needing a specific “outfit” to define me.
Looking back at “2018 outfits,” it’s a reminder that sometimes, the most important thing you can wear is just your own skin, comfortably. It took a while to get there, a lot of trying on things that didn’t fit. But yeah, that whole year was a lesson in authenticity, I guess. And that’s a style that never really goes out of fashion, does it?
